Special Potentials

Do I have strong intellectual potentials? I myself believe it without saying to anybody, but today two different persons indicated me the sign; Indeed God signify to me. A man who I brought my sick father to and another man who I do not know him.
I am nice and I feel maybe my praying are going to the sky...
Was it possible the kindest forget about me? I can not believe. It never forget about me. Always Thinking about me and paying special attention...

Calm me

It is a couple of days that I feel God is very close to me, closer than the vessel of the neck! (It is a part of Muslim holy book -Qoran-) Yes. It is very close. loves me, bother me and admonishes me. Pays attention to me greatly and brings up me... I am its child, a weak nice little child. When no body is, it is and this is which has calmed me in recent days...

I come again

It is a long time I couldn't write in my blog. I have made many great decisions which I will declare.
My English has become week I feel. I didn't practise on it well recently.

Modification

I should tolerate my present situation and try to reform it according to my opinions. I am talking about my job and the unavoidable circumstances which eventuate in bothering me. I do not want to abandon my job as I have done before. I want to resist and modify the situation to the better style. I should do it. I promise myself. Although I am a very successful one in the life, I can not manage the hardships in my occupations. So, I would like to change the career so that I am proud of my occupational achievements as those on my personal and educational life.

...

I was sitting in the taxi. A man was sitting exactly next to me. His body hit mine. There was a calm nice trend which starts from my shoulder and wanted to flow to my soul. He was warm and lovely and I began to feel enjoyment…
Suddenly, I recede my body. What am I doing? I shouldn't let it to flow straightaway to my soul. I shouldn't let my body to enjoy from the smell of a strange man… It is the first step and I can make myself far away. I am committed to another man and I wonderfully believe in my commitment. Just a second prohibited pleasure can destroy everything because after the first step nothing will be under my supervision.
I moved my body back. The flow of enjoyment cut. My husband came in and caressed me warmly… I love myself more!

Remember

I should write to remember. I should write to register the events and feelings in the history's memory of my life.It is almost a month or two that I feel special ability inside. I feel I have got a power to sight, to smell something strange and in brief, something to faal that I was not able in the past. Thanks god! Maybe it is the consequence of holy month of Ramadan and fasting in it -avoiding to eat and drink as well as to behave in the wrong ways-Again, I think my lovely god is paying special and woderful attention to me and give me his gifts. He has always presented to me something noticeable, such remarkable that not only myself but others have been surprised and sometimes bewildered!Nowadays that it has been passed about 3 weeks of starting my new job, I want to confess I am delighted and I worship my nice god greatly :) He shows me to love and I proud of myself. He loves me as before when I was in my teen ages and had a specific relation to him.Thanks god, because of this year Ramadan and because of this year attention.

My father

If a girl misses her father, what she can do? The father is the symbol of warmth and kindness. Nobody can replace to my father's role. Neither my husband nor my mother can do his job. What I should do if I miss him?

He missed

When I saw you in the way of Larissa
-a straight way which passes from the trees-
You thought I am the man of the way,
and fell in my love.
I am not the man of the way,
I was missed there...
(Leonard Cohen)

This is the story of some Iranian men who have not been the man of the way! They just miss...

Career

I did not want to say my job here. I just wanted this blog to be dedicated to my attitudes and feelings as a woman in Iran but I think my feelings are not separated from my career. OK. I am a journalist in Iran and I am working in the social sector.
I have been so busy during recent days beacause I changed my employer and it takes long to be familiar with the new invironment.
I love my job because although I believe that the media do not have any special effect on the society, I think maybe it can be influential -at least- more than other careers.

Mother or wife?

Why the husband is as a child and sometimes makes the mistake which his wife is his spouse or his mother?! In most cases, he finds that she is his mother and expects her mothers' duties... As well as psychologists know the end of this kind of relationship, wemen know it better!

When the man discovers a lot...

The man discovered the word and dialogue was invented
The woman discovered the dialogue and rumor was invented

The man discovered agriculture and food was invented
The woman discovered the food and diet was invented

The man discovered the friendship and love was invented
The woman discovered the love and marriage was invented

The man discovered business and money was invented
The woman discovered the money and buying was invented

Afterwards, the man discovered a lot but the woman was continuously on buying things!

original Persian writing from http://hanif.ir/

Cultural abnormalities

I cannot explain about the amount of cultural and social abnormalities in my society. They are such different and enormous that it is needed a huge book to write about them. Today I want to focus on one of them; the films and movies which are found in Iranians’ cell phones. Bluetooth is the new technology that enables people to have, transfer and keep pictures and images in their personal mobiles as the private movies. Although the films are in different topics such as humorous scenes, political lectures, etc, most of them are included sexual issues. Indeed, the cell phones in Iran, nowadays, are the best and most appropriate tools to transmit the pornographic films which the Iranians have been deprived from almost 30 years.
It is increasingly common that when you encounter to one of your friends, she shows you at least one of the films that are related to the sexual relationship or violence.
Gradually, I believe that Iranians have the numerous yen and eager to watch to the sexual scenes more and more. They are thirsty; but to what? When they watch to these scenes, maybe they see a glass of cold water in the torrid summer! Yes, Sex in the Iran contemporary society (hot summer) is the inevitably cold refreshing water.
In this disturbed market, not only do people forget about the right ways for their sexual desires, but also they claw to whatever that smell the sex even if it is the film of the rape to a little girl.
The fire of sexual desires should be extinguished via whatever they gain. When this natural need and all that related to, is formally prohibited in this society, how we can expect from Iranians to abstain of sending and keeping these vexatious films and films?!

Strange job

Yesterday I read a report about something really bizarre! About a prostitute who was a boy! He was about 27 and his fee was about 300-600 tomans ($320-$ 640) for per night. It is very strange because according to the report this rate for each woman is almost $120 in maximum. What a expensive man. I couldn’t believe. We do not have any official and accepted house for prostitution and it is known as a crime in my country.
The exciting point about it was that I have thought why there is no man prostitute and there are just for women? My question was that only men have the strong sexual desires?! Of course not, but I wanted to know why we do not have any solution about the sexual needs of the women? So, yesterday I found the answer! But I would really like to know is it common in other countries or not?
Another interesting point about that man was that the reporter emphasized for many times that he did not have any shame about his job as woman. Indeed, he was proud of himself because of his special occupation!

Cooking

Cooking is my best favorite chores in the house. I really hate to wash the dishes or clothes or other works, but I actually enjoy cooking. When I have a lot to do in home for my works, reading book, writing something or practicing on my lessons, just cooking can makes me to be relaxed. It has a sense of creation and this is the best about it. When I am cooking, I assume myself as a creator! I am the best cook in the family J because when I add some salt and pepper to my food never forget to add a little love on my foods and this makes the food to have a special delicious taste that no body can deny. I should point out that I learn it from my mother whose foods taste as love!

Miracle

Miracles are still at work. Do you believe in miracles? I absolutely do. I drank a cup of coffee-milk and it started… Trust on me! It can be begin just by imbibing it.

Let's Dance

I am a woman who starts dancing for about three weeks! I am a woman who has not danced before these weeks. I am a woman who yearned for being a ballet dancer in her next life. I am a woman who beginning hip-hop as the first dance which nobody can explain what is the relationship between this special kind of dancing and my special personality?!
Now, I am a woman who concludes that there in no need to the next life, because I am able to vindicate my hopes and desires in the resting time of my life… I am dancing well though I am jackleg…

Hijab

Sometimes, I think if I was not born in Iran (a so-called Islamic country), I would wear head-scarf or not. I am Muslim but I do not believe that hijab (covering all hair and body) is compulsory in this religion. I think its necessity in the society is just the invention of Iranian political leaders though there is the concept of hijab is mentioned in the Muslims holy book (Qoran).
My background is almost traditional and religious family where all the girls have has head-scarf when they become about 10-year-old in the public places and also in the relatives meetings. Of course the numbers of families that transgress this tradition are not scarce and about more than half of my friends have it just in the streets (public environments).
I am not sure if I leave Iran in the future, what I will do about it?
Nowadays, I think it has just a customary meaning not religious, so I heed it just because to respect to the values of my family and country to hold my social status in society. (Maybe I explain about it in the next posts) Thus, the logical result is obvious! If I will be in another country, I should regard to the norms of that country to live calmly. Is it true?

Why

This blog is created to analyse my feelings and attitudes. I cannot remember how many blogs I have had, but all were in Persian and this is the first one in English. Althoough practising in my English is one of my significant aim in writing, explaining about the new concept of femininity which I am newly discoverd, is more desireable.