I miss the places much more rather than people and activities!
I remind places rather than everything in Iran!
It is exceptiomal and strang to me, because I never remember the places or they have not been important for me at all.
But I remind my memories or people via the place. I mean, at first I remember the place and then gradually the people who associated to that particular place!
Immigration is different experience, actually!

Negotiation!

Negotiation!
While I was searching some other departments courses for the next semester, I realized that most of them in the faculty of Arts and Social Sciences have a course directly related to the women, feminism or gender studies.In addition, if you browse the profile of faculty members of other departments such as History, Humanities, Political Sciences, Sociology and Anthropology, Psychology, and Communication there are at least one faculty member who is specialized in gender/ women's studies.Generally speaking, it is promising and can spread the scholarships and research with the feminist perspectives in other departments and can be beneficial to Women’s Studies goals in the long-term period. As Robyn R. Warhol, in “Nice Work, If You Can Get It!” confirms it. But it seems that there is not appropriate cooperation between Women’s Studies department and other departments in the faculty of Social Sciences. I think why other departments students who are interested in women/ gender/ feminist studies would not like to take their courses in Women’s Studies department? Have not these courses been presented in our department? Why? We do not have enough instructors? We cannot request different faculty members from other majors to teach here? We are in the budget-crunch? We are not interested in other students participating in our department? Other departments do not agree to hold their courses in our department? What is the main problem?Do our department faculty members or –I don’t know- whoever is responsible for this kind of responsibilities, have efficient meetings with other departments faculty members to persuade them to agree to hold these courses in Women’s Studies department? Actually, it is not a simple and easy job but I definitely believe on the power of negotiation and also lobbying! Why not?! It is right that here is an academy not a political party and faculty members are educators and pedagogues not politicians to collecting the votes! But I think we can learn much more from political plays and trends. Lobbying has been one the most efficient solution in solving this kind of problems. Holding all courses related to women/ gender/ feminism from other majors in this department will solve the main concerns and problems which are mentioned in the Women’s Studies External Review Graduate Students’ Report.Inasmuch, struggling to survive will not be the Women’s Studies students and faculty members concerns but all other students and professors in the whole faculty of Social Sciences.

Baba is calm... It seems he is calm and soothe... My sister said that you can not believe how he is kind and tranquil...
Thanks God... I asked her tell him to pay for me... Now, he is in the top... After so painful procedure of living... He is in the top and I am proud of him...
My dear daddy, I love you. I want you to know how much my heart is beating for you...
I take a deep breath and wait...

I hate Iranian feminists who are living abroad. Their writings make me puke!
I hate them!

Not only do I have problem with the language, but also with the culture. I cannot realize the interesting stuff in their culture. They have presented about topics in the class that I cannot tolerate! I hate the topics and I cannot be connected to!
They discuss interestingly about what I dislike and meaningless to me. So, I cannot participate in discussions. I do not know the dominant culture and do not understand why something ugly can be so admirable to them.
I am so far from some dominant discussions in my classes. I am the minority here and I cannot express my feeling cause simply they accuse me not to be enough liberal and human rights' supporter!

1. Maybe it is too soon to ask whether I come back to Iran or not.
I think I will. We can experience realities of living in the West. It is not all advantages, they have their problems which have not been able to succumb. I can be number one here, I am sure I can work here in a suitable and highly respect position. But I am not sure if I prefer to stay far from Iran for my whole life.
2. I have decided not to talk about Iran in class discussions any more. I want to start new discussions and involvements. I don't want to follow all vexatious thoughts I have had to tolerate and been concerned about. I want not to think about my Iran's issues anymore.
I would like to concentrate on my new life and avoid involving in my previous place, though it seems impossible completely, at least I can attempt!

I got 9/10 in my first presentation in an English country!
It is awesome. I cannot believe. I was not satisfied on my presentation, I was extremely distracted and could not focus on my subject. Shortly, I thought it was not rewarding and could not meet my expectations.
But my classmates' comments and my professor was helpful and encouraging.
I am pleased actually. This score was unbelievable to me! I do not evaluate to be deserved for this score; but I got it and it was wonderful.
Is it a long way to get 10/10?!

Last night started again... as always, tears... tears... tears... I called my mum, and at last, I started crying and told her please care about dad...
But after a while, there was something happened. I stop crying and started collecting my energy to send him far from oceans to my family. It made me a little calm!
I decided:
1. Keep praying for him with non stop. finally, it will be happened. It is impossible that the power of my positive feelings and desire miss in the universe! They will be concentrated in a place or a person. Why I can not be sure that maybe it is my family and stopping their pain?
2. What knowledge can I gain from leaving them? Is it a message to me that I am here in order to focus on my soul and spirituality far more than before? I am here to work on my soul and empower it...

Tear

This pain has no end. I cannot write about, I do not know why, maybe writing in English is difficult and before it, actually writing is difficult.
I am sure that these days are one of the most cumbersome moments in my whole life.
Not only I feel to escape from my parents' pains and leave them alone in suffering, also I empty of myself.
I want to finish. I want to finish. I want to finish...
Whom I can tell about my involvements? Nobody, even my God cannot hear me, even s/he...
What I can do now? Except to be finished...
I have nothing to follow, really nothing and my whole soul is ruined, it is eradicated and I do not know where I miss the fragments of my broken soul?
I wish I was a glass to put myself to an iron, 1000 pieces and finishing.
I do not want to be alive anymore...

Minorities' Concerns in Women's Studies

Why Women's Studies concentras mostly on minorities and prefers not to examine the majorities related-issues? As a case in point, how much the practice of female excision or trafficking of weman are common discussions for women generally?When I browsed the require chapters for the next session, especially the above mentioned ones, where are the status of topics related to women's physiology, psychology, etc?Although there is a strong theory that the society constructs the concept of feminity, it is unaccepable to me to ignore the role of natural physical and psychological foundations in studying women's related issues.When and where will we discuss on some common and natural women characteristics? I actually believe that menstrual cycle, pregnancy and in most cultures, bringing up the children are some examples of matters that are considerably differentiated the practices of women in comparison to men. I mean that disregarding to these topics eventuates in unfinished and in some extent mutilated conclusions in our analysis of social status of women.I surely do not reject the importance of minorities' topics but I am of the opinion that whether it is acceptable the majority of a knowledge is the minorities discussions or not?