Yesterday I encountered a horrible point in the book I was reading:
"Researchers studying the economically and politically powerful, women studying men, people of color studying whites… all can be in situation in which their ability to control the interaction is limited, particularly when it is ace-to-face."
In this part, the author was talking about researcher's privilages which enable her to produce "knowledge"! (I will discuss about it in another post)
But what was terrible to me about this quotation is that I, as a Middle Eastern female researcher, don't have sufficient privilage for researching in the West! Isn't it disgusting?! When I contemplate and think more about this issue, remember my Asian classmates in my Canadian university. All Asian, though they are the best in the university, are working on Asian cultures. I mean that all of them are researching on their country or if they are so intellectual, they are working on immigration and diaspora. I know some part of this matter is natural and people's research interests are directly related to the life experience and those people have some kind of experiences which can help them to research on topics as "insider" not "outsider" but I think it is not all the issue... Unfortunately, I should confess that the other side of the coin is that it is resulted from DISABILITY not lacking of interests in other areas of research. Regardless of which field of social science these students are studying, all prefer to research on mentioned topics. I mean that it is happening in all branches of social sciences. I do know that these kinds of research topics are interesting for the West and they welcome these students and their topics but I don't like this kind of welcome! I am sure the in the back of West's researchers' mind is that we have not privilage to work on topic which they are working. It's better we work on our own topics and leave the new challenging research topics for them who are Western white privilaged researchers!
I am upset because I am aware that the circle of my choice in research areas is very limited. If I was free enough to choose whatever I want to research on, maybe I would select immigiration, Iran or diaspora but this situation is not desirable. This feeling that I OUGHT TO WORK these fields of research instead of CHOOSE to work on them, bothers me so much and also in all moments remind me that I, as a Middle Eastern female researcher, regardless of my research abilities, don't have a privilage as a Western white English speaker researcher... Terrible, horrible, dreadfull, disperating....
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Feminist Methodology 2
Joey Sprague. 2005. Feminist Methodologies for Critical Researchers: Bridging Differences. New York: Altamira Press. ISBN 0-7591-0903-6
Sprague book was so fascinating to me and I could find most of my concerns and criticisms about methodology in her book. I was so absorbed to this book that I really felt I wrote it! I say it to show how much this book discussed about my mental involvements regarding to methodology in Social Science in general. I also was engrossed by her critical approach to the methodology as a whole. I mean that she presented everything in a logical manner while simultaneously she kept her critical discussions about all mentioned issues.
I will present the interesting quotes of the chapters we supposed to read and discuss about my reactions in italics.
… I discovered an answer to my question in the sociology of knowledge, and in its analysis of the way social structure influences the contests and form of common sense and culture, and thus our understanding of ourselves and the world. (Sprague, p 4)
This is an approach in the discussion of the necessity of paying attention to the methodology which I have never encountered in the previous many text books in the field of social methodologies. I think starting from the sociology of knowledge and talking about how much important we consider to the process of knowledge production is a cute and shrewd justification for why methodology is sustainable to draw researchers’ attention. It is persuading and cogent to me to accept her arguments.
The notion of the public and the private as distinct spheres of social life is possible to maintain only at a high level of abstraction… Feminist were the first to show that the personal is not just the social; it is political. (Sprague, p 9)
I think this issue is very considerable to me especially since I am interested in working on the social and personal impact of new technologies, this discussion can be useful. Binary of public and private is suitably can be studies in the user of cell phones, chat rooms, bloggers and etc. I wish I could find more material regarding to the issue. Specifily the last part of the quotation is more important to me which she mentioned the personal is political which I was eager to know more from a feminist perspective which unfortunately she didn’t talk about it much. This feminism claim can be applied in the studying in the functions of new technologies in everyday lives. I am strongly thinking that I can use of this idea in the analysis of Iranian women blogs contents.
Research questions are more likely to explore the deficiencies of those in disadvantaged social positions than of those with social power… (p 10)
I think it is one of the noticeable problems of the social sciences methodology. Although it is claimed that the final goal of any social research is making a better world for living and emphasis on the consideration into the marginalized groups, I think it is one of the weaknesses of social research as a whole. I think it is not right necessarily, working on social problems, crimes and difficulties eventuate in solving current problems and present suitable solutions for equality. Where is the share of the good affairs? And true processes? Why social sciences just focus on the sadness instead of the happiness? Why there is an inclination in social science to mourn for bad aspects of social life instead of rejoice at the prospective individuals, their pattern of success and influential plans for social change?! I think it is an interesting topic should be discussed and really the current social science methodology needs a huge paradigm shift!
..... dichotomies hide social relations that allow members of one social category to benefit at the expense of those in another… They are ways of constructing social relationships that facilitate social domination. (15)
It’s very interesting which I didn’t pay attention to before. Her examples are very good can explain the subject. It’s very considerable issue and I should keep in mind!
What distinguishes critical from uncritical research is not the method used, but how the method is used, both technically and politically. (27)
This is a claim which is questionable to me. It is not totally clear what is the exact purpose of the author by “how the method is used”. How really the methods should be used in order to be labeled as “critical” or “feminist”? It seems it is something that cannot be explain easily and is interpreted on the researcher own experience in the social research. Furthermore, I am really eager to contemplate more on the adverb of “politically” and know more about it which again unfortunately Sprague didn’t describe it in details and didn’t represent the signified matters.
….. interviewees responded very differently depending on the race/ethnicity of the interviewer. (124)
It is a very fascinating observation. I got surprised to read this part. I said bravo to the author to mention to this practical and basic point which maybe seems unimportant but in a deep review very significant and valuable which has the capability to change the results of the research totally!
“Increasing the researcher/researched connection” was one of my favorite parts of the chapter 5 of Sprague book. I read this part word by word enthusiastically!
Feminists have tried to make the relationship which research subjects more reciprocal, they have used their emotions, and they have drawn on their own biographies to increase empathy and understanding. (134)
I have always thought about the status of emotions and what I call “the sixth sense” in the process of social research and especially at the end of the research when we want to interpret the gathered data and information. I have believed that there should be a room for researcher perception and sixth sense which none of the steps of the expected methods mention about! I was surprised that feminists are using emotions as analytic guides and I am very curious to know more about it, the examples, process and etc.
…..emotions are not purely private experiences. “Emotions result from applying personal interpretations of collectively-created rules to the situations in which we find ourselves. (135)
How many people subscribe to the top-ranked journal, American Sociological Review, and how few actually read it? There also the one about how often readers skip the methods section when reading quantitative papers. (p 21)
It is an interesting point! Really, how many people read journal articles? The total amount of time which all readers put on a certain paper in a high-ranked journal is equal to the amount of time which the author put to prepare and publish the paper?! I don’t think so! Doesn’t the academia should review the academic criteria for promoting the rank of the university’s instructors?!
Sprague book was so fascinating to me and I could find most of my concerns and criticisms about methodology in her book. I was so absorbed to this book that I really felt I wrote it! I say it to show how much this book discussed about my mental involvements regarding to methodology in Social Science in general. I also was engrossed by her critical approach to the methodology as a whole. I mean that she presented everything in a logical manner while simultaneously she kept her critical discussions about all mentioned issues.
I will present the interesting quotes of the chapters we supposed to read and discuss about my reactions in italics.
… I discovered an answer to my question in the sociology of knowledge, and in its analysis of the way social structure influences the contests and form of common sense and culture, and thus our understanding of ourselves and the world. (Sprague, p 4)
This is an approach in the discussion of the necessity of paying attention to the methodology which I have never encountered in the previous many text books in the field of social methodologies. I think starting from the sociology of knowledge and talking about how much important we consider to the process of knowledge production is a cute and shrewd justification for why methodology is sustainable to draw researchers’ attention. It is persuading and cogent to me to accept her arguments.
The notion of the public and the private as distinct spheres of social life is possible to maintain only at a high level of abstraction… Feminist were the first to show that the personal is not just the social; it is political. (Sprague, p 9)
I think this issue is very considerable to me especially since I am interested in working on the social and personal impact of new technologies, this discussion can be useful. Binary of public and private is suitably can be studies in the user of cell phones, chat rooms, bloggers and etc. I wish I could find more material regarding to the issue. Specifily the last part of the quotation is more important to me which she mentioned the personal is political which I was eager to know more from a feminist perspective which unfortunately she didn’t talk about it much. This feminism claim can be applied in the studying in the functions of new technologies in everyday lives. I am strongly thinking that I can use of this idea in the analysis of Iranian women blogs contents.
Research questions are more likely to explore the deficiencies of those in disadvantaged social positions than of those with social power… (p 10)
I think it is one of the noticeable problems of the social sciences methodology. Although it is claimed that the final goal of any social research is making a better world for living and emphasis on the consideration into the marginalized groups, I think it is one of the weaknesses of social research as a whole. I think it is not right necessarily, working on social problems, crimes and difficulties eventuate in solving current problems and present suitable solutions for equality. Where is the share of the good affairs? And true processes? Why social sciences just focus on the sadness instead of the happiness? Why there is an inclination in social science to mourn for bad aspects of social life instead of rejoice at the prospective individuals, their pattern of success and influential plans for social change?! I think it is an interesting topic should be discussed and really the current social science methodology needs a huge paradigm shift!
..... dichotomies hide social relations that allow members of one social category to benefit at the expense of those in another… They are ways of constructing social relationships that facilitate social domination. (15)
It’s very interesting which I didn’t pay attention to before. Her examples are very good can explain the subject. It’s very considerable issue and I should keep in mind!
What distinguishes critical from uncritical research is not the method used, but how the method is used, both technically and politically. (27)
This is a claim which is questionable to me. It is not totally clear what is the exact purpose of the author by “how the method is used”. How really the methods should be used in order to be labeled as “critical” or “feminist”? It seems it is something that cannot be explain easily and is interpreted on the researcher own experience in the social research. Furthermore, I am really eager to contemplate more on the adverb of “politically” and know more about it which again unfortunately Sprague didn’t describe it in details and didn’t represent the signified matters.
….. interviewees responded very differently depending on the race/ethnicity of the interviewer. (124)
It is a very fascinating observation. I got surprised to read this part. I said bravo to the author to mention to this practical and basic point which maybe seems unimportant but in a deep review very significant and valuable which has the capability to change the results of the research totally!
“Increasing the researcher/researched connection” was one of my favorite parts of the chapter 5 of Sprague book. I read this part word by word enthusiastically!
Feminists have tried to make the relationship which research subjects more reciprocal, they have used their emotions, and they have drawn on their own biographies to increase empathy and understanding. (134)
I have always thought about the status of emotions and what I call “the sixth sense” in the process of social research and especially at the end of the research when we want to interpret the gathered data and information. I have believed that there should be a room for researcher perception and sixth sense which none of the steps of the expected methods mention about! I was surprised that feminists are using emotions as analytic guides and I am very curious to know more about it, the examples, process and etc.
…..emotions are not purely private experiences. “Emotions result from applying personal interpretations of collectively-created rules to the situations in which we find ourselves. (135)
How many people subscribe to the top-ranked journal, American Sociological Review, and how few actually read it? There also the one about how often readers skip the methods section when reading quantitative papers. (p 21)
It is an interesting point! Really, how many people read journal articles? The total amount of time which all readers put on a certain paper in a high-ranked journal is equal to the amount of time which the author put to prepare and publish the paper?! I don’t think so! Doesn’t the academia should review the academic criteria for promoting the rank of the university’s instructors?!
Feminist Methodology 1
The following are the books we supposed to read for Feminist Methodology course.
1. Sandra L. Kirby, Lorraine Greaves and Colleen Reid. 2006. Experience Research Social Change: Methods Beyond the Mainstream. Peterborough, ON: Broadview Press. Second Edition (pbk).
ISBN-13: 978-1-55193-056-5; ISBN-10: 1-55193-056-0
2. Joey Sprague. 2005. Feminist Methodologies for Critical Researchers: Bridging Differences. New York: Altamira Press. ISBN 0-7591-0903-6 (pbk)
3. Reinharz, Shulamit. 1992. Feminist Methods in Social Research. New York: Oxford University Press. ISBN 0-19-507386-X
I will present the interesting quotes of the two chapters of Feminist Methodology books and discuss about my reactions in italics.
We chose to use second (you) and third (we, us, our) person throughout the text as a way of actualizing our belief that we, the authors, and you, the readers, are all in this research process together. (Kirby, p 1) I like the approach of the authors because they value for the readers and also themselves who are sure can really learn something to the readers.
Research, which so far has been largely the instrument of dominance and legitimation of power elites, must be brought to serve the interests of dominated, exploited and oppressed groups. (Kirby, p 1) It’s interesting because by this approach we can expect the practical outcome of researches which always seem so abstract!
Historically, many groups have been excluded from participating in, describing and analyzing their own understanding of reality. In many ways, understanding and going research can be seen as a formal literacy. (Kirby, p 2) It is important to all of us that the processes of investigating the world not remain a specialized activity. Everyday life skills of observation, data collection, reflection, analysis and interpretation can be enhanced with basic research training. By claiming access to the research enterprise, all people can produce or interpret evidence in ways that reflect their reality and contribute to a more comprehensive view of life. (p 2)
It’s interesting simultaneously dangerous. Interesting because research can be voice of marginalized people and make them to come to the context and dangerous because the evaluation of the research will be complicated and unclear. Increasingly, research is beginning to reflect the experiences and concerns of people who have traditionally been marginalized by the research process. (Kirby, p 3)
We believe that different methodologies carry with them specific underlying assumptions that will shape the way information is gathered and the kind of knowledge created. (Kirby, p 5)
Is it true that sometimes choosing a specific method can have different outcomes? If the outcome is not totally different, at least it would have different aspects. In fact, in different methods different parts of the issues are highlighted and consequently analyzed and interpreted.
The feminist methodological literature centered on four central questions;
1. Is there a feminist research method?
2. If so, what does it actually consist of?
3. Should there be a feminist research method?
4. What is the relation between feminist research methods and other methods? (Reinharz)
I like her approach and it seems she has done a profound job on the current existent literature in methodology and put her efforts to find the feminist tendencies in methodology which make be to respect her as an author. I mean when she mentions to this point, makes an invisible authority for herself in the text; an authority that make me accept her as an expert in the field of feminist methodology!
A person didn’t have to identify her research method as “feminist research method” but rather had to identify herself as a feminist doing research. (Ibid)
It was not completely clear to me what she exactly means when she express the approach should be feminist not the methodology.
1. Sandra L. Kirby, Lorraine Greaves and Colleen Reid. 2006. Experience Research Social Change: Methods Beyond the Mainstream. Peterborough, ON: Broadview Press. Second Edition (pbk).
ISBN-13: 978-1-55193-056-5; ISBN-10: 1-55193-056-0
2. Joey Sprague. 2005. Feminist Methodologies for Critical Researchers: Bridging Differences. New York: Altamira Press. ISBN 0-7591-0903-6 (pbk)
3. Reinharz, Shulamit. 1992. Feminist Methods in Social Research. New York: Oxford University Press. ISBN 0-19-507386-X
I will present the interesting quotes of the two chapters of Feminist Methodology books and discuss about my reactions in italics.
We chose to use second (you) and third (we, us, our) person throughout the text as a way of actualizing our belief that we, the authors, and you, the readers, are all in this research process together. (Kirby, p 1) I like the approach of the authors because they value for the readers and also themselves who are sure can really learn something to the readers.
Research, which so far has been largely the instrument of dominance and legitimation of power elites, must be brought to serve the interests of dominated, exploited and oppressed groups. (Kirby, p 1) It’s interesting because by this approach we can expect the practical outcome of researches which always seem so abstract!
Historically, many groups have been excluded from participating in, describing and analyzing their own understanding of reality. In many ways, understanding and going research can be seen as a formal literacy. (Kirby, p 2) It is important to all of us that the processes of investigating the world not remain a specialized activity. Everyday life skills of observation, data collection, reflection, analysis and interpretation can be enhanced with basic research training. By claiming access to the research enterprise, all people can produce or interpret evidence in ways that reflect their reality and contribute to a more comprehensive view of life. (p 2)
It’s interesting simultaneously dangerous. Interesting because research can be voice of marginalized people and make them to come to the context and dangerous because the evaluation of the research will be complicated and unclear. Increasingly, research is beginning to reflect the experiences and concerns of people who have traditionally been marginalized by the research process. (Kirby, p 3)
We believe that different methodologies carry with them specific underlying assumptions that will shape the way information is gathered and the kind of knowledge created. (Kirby, p 5)
Is it true that sometimes choosing a specific method can have different outcomes? If the outcome is not totally different, at least it would have different aspects. In fact, in different methods different parts of the issues are highlighted and consequently analyzed and interpreted.
The feminist methodological literature centered on four central questions;
1. Is there a feminist research method?
2. If so, what does it actually consist of?
3. Should there be a feminist research method?
4. What is the relation between feminist research methods and other methods? (Reinharz)
I like her approach and it seems she has done a profound job on the current existent literature in methodology and put her efforts to find the feminist tendencies in methodology which make be to respect her as an author. I mean when she mentions to this point, makes an invisible authority for herself in the text; an authority that make me accept her as an expert in the field of feminist methodology!
A person didn’t have to identify her research method as “feminist research method” but rather had to identify herself as a feminist doing research. (Ibid)
It was not completely clear to me what she exactly means when she express the approach should be feminist not the methodology.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Language, Meaning, Taboos
It is not easy to read a dense paper in a totally new field (anthropology) which your are not familiar to the terminology and also to the complicated content.
It is my today's mood! I am reading a paper for my Anthropology Methodology course which my professor comments is equal to the paper! The language of the paper is not easy and the discussion is completely new! If this argument was written in Persian, I should read more than one time to grasp the points! So, in this regard, I really cannot to pass the layer of the language and reach to layer of the meaning. I am imprisoned in the language and totally confused. Will be someday I am dominated in this language?
English words do not have any special burden of meaning to me. All words are just words without meaning! Words cannot carry emotions, feelings, etc. for me... It is really complex discussion. Accordingly, I can talk about taboos in English easily! Because taboo words are not taboo in my mind. They are equal to ordinary words without any difference! Which I never discuss about in my other tongue! Interesting :)
Last night we went to the Sufi House in West Vancouver. I met my friend's father. His hand was pinched as my father's... I cannot forget him. I was scared so much... I dreamed him all the night and I cannot get rid of the point that maybe he has a disease as my father's...
It is my today's mood! I am reading a paper for my Anthropology Methodology course which my professor comments is equal to the paper! The language of the paper is not easy and the discussion is completely new! If this argument was written in Persian, I should read more than one time to grasp the points! So, in this regard, I really cannot to pass the layer of the language and reach to layer of the meaning. I am imprisoned in the language and totally confused. Will be someday I am dominated in this language?
English words do not have any special burden of meaning to me. All words are just words without meaning! Words cannot carry emotions, feelings, etc. for me... It is really complex discussion. Accordingly, I can talk about taboos in English easily! Because taboo words are not taboo in my mind. They are equal to ordinary words without any difference! Which I never discuss about in my other tongue! Interesting :)
Last night we went to the Sufi House in West Vancouver. I met my friend's father. His hand was pinched as my father's... I cannot forget him. I was scared so much... I dreamed him all the night and I cannot get rid of the point that maybe he has a disease as my father's...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Letter
I wrote a letter to my mom yesterday. Maybe I translate it in English and put it here. After leaving Iran, I have spoken to her almost everyday but it was just greeting and some ordinary talking. Yesterday, I missed her so much and decided to write a letter to her, send to my sister's email and asked her to call mom o read it.
I don't know why everybody has stolen my research ideas!
I change my mind about my PhD thesis in Iran! I know that shame on me! But now and exactly at this moment I would like to work on public and private in Iranian bloggers, especially women.
I am satisfied but I don't appreciate my assets! Why always I forget how much I am in the serenity and how much God loves me?! How many people are desiring to be in my shoes?!
I don't know why everybody has stolen my research ideas!
I change my mind about my PhD thesis in Iran! I know that shame on me! But now and exactly at this moment I would like to work on public and private in Iranian bloggers, especially women.
I am satisfied but I don't appreciate my assets! Why always I forget how much I am in the serenity and how much God loves me?! How many people are desiring to be in my shoes?!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Happiness
Today, finally I could make a meeting with one of my classmates in Feminist Theories course. She originally is Indian and is PhD student in English Literature. No need to emphasis that she is intellectually speak English. She was born here and even talk to her parents in English. I like her because she was so cute and also she has been the only English speaker who has a great calmness in her face! I admire her relaxation and I felt we have many similarities. I asked her to meet each other and have a coffee and talk more. Interestingly, she welcomed and told me that she like me so much and I like to be friend with me if I like too. Like?! I desire :)
I discussed to her about English language. She pointed out: When you are talking in English, you make other to listen to you. You talk from an authority which I like it. Fascinating! I never know it about myself!
Today, also one of my Iranian friends who has lived in Canada since 10 years ago and is an English teacher told me your speaking is improved. I said to her: Are you kidding me?! I really feel that my speaking is weaken than 3-4 months ago and I think it was better at the first days. I actually feel I am going back in speaking in English. She said: Believe me. I am an English teacher and can distinguish your improvement. Maybe now you can compare yourself with English speakers more now and conclude that you become weaker, but it is not true. I feel you gradually are able to active to some parts of your vocabulary which are posed in the back of your mind and remain passive. The most important attempt is make your passive vocabularies active! Thanks God :)
The newsletter of our department finally published and there is congratulations me as a graduate student who was awarded an Entrance Scholarship for 2008-2008 as well as a scholarship of Advanced Education Ministry for 2009-2010!
I am happy today
I discussed to her about English language. She pointed out: When you are talking in English, you make other to listen to you. You talk from an authority which I like it. Fascinating! I never know it about myself!
Today, also one of my Iranian friends who has lived in Canada since 10 years ago and is an English teacher told me your speaking is improved. I said to her: Are you kidding me?! I really feel that my speaking is weaken than 3-4 months ago and I think it was better at the first days. I actually feel I am going back in speaking in English. She said: Believe me. I am an English teacher and can distinguish your improvement. Maybe now you can compare yourself with English speakers more now and conclude that you become weaker, but it is not true. I feel you gradually are able to active to some parts of your vocabulary which are posed in the back of your mind and remain passive. The most important attempt is make your passive vocabularies active! Thanks God :)
The newsletter of our department finally published and there is congratulations me as a graduate student who was awarded an Entrance Scholarship for 2008-2008 as well as a scholarship of Advanced Education Ministry for 2009-2010!
I am happy today
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Rush?!
Don't rush!
Nothing will happen if you are in a hurry!
Just wait... contemplate... and observe...
Give a chance to yourself to become relaxed in the totally new environment.
I will find my way definitely...
Nothing will happen if you are in a hurry!
Just wait... contemplate... and observe...
Give a chance to yourself to become relaxed in the totally new environment.
I will find my way definitely...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Price of Immortality
What is the price of immortality?!
Immortality has always been my most mental involvement. In fact, I think whatever happens I would like to be immortal in the History's mind. I have thought and talked about this issue to my spouse for many times in order to distinguish a practical plan to remain immortal! Writing, I think, can be one of the best plans for this desire.
But today, my spouse raised an issue which intimidated me! He was talking about people who when think deeply, they conclude that if they were not in this especial positions, nothing would be happened. Being or not being would not be an issue indeed!If one of them didn't do something, there is another one to do that. Right?
I criticized him so much because I was afraid of this explanation. I told him this way of thinking eventuates in the holocost and some other human disasters! He responded I was wrong because his purpose is when somebody "hirself" think in this way and think "others" are more important than "hir" and they are not as impressive as others in the society.
I told him I can see what you mean but "you", as the analysist are definitely dangerous! If a social analysist thinks in this way that most people are not sufficiently beneficial for the society, there will be many many human disaters! All impressions to other people is permitted by this style of thinking that really all people are not as important as others for human kind society! This style of thinking if does not entail horrible disasters, at least entail every kinds of discriminations; racism, sexism and others.
Suddenly, a thought was came out to my mind. What is really the price of immortality? Why when we read the best and most impressive people in human History, they have not been as successful in their personal life as in their career?! Have the price been the victimization their families and friends? Is it really right?
Maybe I should read more and then contemplate more on their personal life. It is really important to me that what is the price of immortality for my family, friends, kids and spouse? If I bother them and indeed victimize them to achieve my goal, is it really fair? Maybe it is fare for human kind and the future in general and unfair for the present people around me.
I think about it more profoundly and I will try to find a rational, logical and FAIR answer for myself; fair for my family and actually fair for myself. It is another significant point!
Am I ready to pay this price for immortality? I am not sure indeed!
Immortality has always been my most mental involvement. In fact, I think whatever happens I would like to be immortal in the History's mind. I have thought and talked about this issue to my spouse for many times in order to distinguish a practical plan to remain immortal! Writing, I think, can be one of the best plans for this desire.
But today, my spouse raised an issue which intimidated me! He was talking about people who when think deeply, they conclude that if they were not in this especial positions, nothing would be happened. Being or not being would not be an issue indeed!If one of them didn't do something, there is another one to do that. Right?
I criticized him so much because I was afraid of this explanation. I told him this way of thinking eventuates in the holocost and some other human disasters! He responded I was wrong because his purpose is when somebody "hirself" think in this way and think "others" are more important than "hir" and they are not as impressive as others in the society.
I told him I can see what you mean but "you", as the analysist are definitely dangerous! If a social analysist thinks in this way that most people are not sufficiently beneficial for the society, there will be many many human disaters! All impressions to other people is permitted by this style of thinking that really all people are not as important as others for human kind society! This style of thinking if does not entail horrible disasters, at least entail every kinds of discriminations; racism, sexism and others.
Suddenly, a thought was came out to my mind. What is really the price of immortality? Why when we read the best and most impressive people in human History, they have not been as successful in their personal life as in their career?! Have the price been the victimization their families and friends? Is it really right?
Maybe I should read more and then contemplate more on their personal life. It is really important to me that what is the price of immortality for my family, friends, kids and spouse? If I bother them and indeed victimize them to achieve my goal, is it really fair? Maybe it is fare for human kind and the future in general and unfair for the present people around me.
I think about it more profoundly and I will try to find a rational, logical and FAIR answer for myself; fair for my family and actually fair for myself. It is another significant point!
Am I ready to pay this price for immortality? I am not sure indeed!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Observant Participatory Exercise 1
Eagle Ridge Hospital Emergency Room, January 12, 2009. 11.45 a.m.
I chose the waiting room of emergency section of Eagle Ridge Hospital in Couquitlam. I did not like to choose some very ordinary place such as street or library which often people do not do something special. And since I am just about four month in Vancouver and consequently in an English language environment, I do not know many public places here. I thought the emergency part of a hospital can be a good choice to me because I can observe people in a relaxed manner and people who are in the hospital have something to observe rather than talk. In fact, regarding to my language obstacles, I preferred a place there is as minimum talking as possible. In addition, I thought an emergency waiting room of a hospital can be interesting because of urgent problems and it is possible I encounter many different situations which I cannot see in other places.
It was not my first time I went to the emergency section of Eagle Ridge hospital. The first one was approximately two months ago for a few minutes when my spouse wanted to receive his receipt from the reception to present for the insurance.
The emergency part is located in the back street of the main entrance of the Eagle Ridge hospital in Gilford Street in Couquitlam. When I entered to the emergency, the first thing I saw was the reception part where a nurse in a light blue dressing was talking to the people who were in a queue in front of the desk. I saw the left part where 24 chairs were put for patients and companions. In the 11.45 of a Monday it was not crowded and I had a chance to choose an appropriate place to sit down and observe. I sat down in a chair where I can observe everybody and everything from that angle. Although I was not able to see the entrance door of the room from that place, I was easy to watch everybody who enter or exit of the door after a few seconds. All chairs were put around the room except six of them in the middle of the room in order to use the place as effective as possible. There was also a paid phone in the room and a machine for getting junk foods. When I entered there were 14 people sitting down and two individuals in the queue to talk in the reception desk. Almost everybody is silent but a boy in the age of 18-19 is talking to the cell phone as loudly as his voice break the silence of the room. After about five minutes a nurse comes and calls the boy to enter to the ward. When he leaves there is no other voice except the nurse in the reception desk which her voice is similar to whispering rather than talking. I cannot distinguish her words.
Six people are reading magazines which are in four different small tables in the room. A 10-12 years old boy is sleeping in the chair and others are sitting and seem thinking or observing the room. There is a television set at the corner of the room close to the ceiling. It is off and seems it is a long time it has not turned on. Beneath the Television set there are 5 empty boxes in this corner of the room which makes it as a warehouse. In the wall next to this corner there is a picture written on: “McHappy Day, May 16th 2000.” These combination make me to feel this room is messy and nobody pay enough attention to keep here as a lively and fresh place. The cell phone of a man who is sitting next to me, rings. He talks for a while and decides to turn it off. I can hear his voice that he thinks about turning his cell phone loudly!
There are a three members of a family here; mother, more than 40 with the blonde hair and white jacket, father with an unusual big moustache and a sharp purple t-shirt and a 14-15 son in a black shirt. It seems the boy is the patient because he wears a white paper ribbon around his left wrist. Three other people are wearing this kind of strip in their wrists.
This place is totally different from my expectations. It is just as an ordinary doctor office or clinic. It seems to me none of the patients have serious problems. I compared it to one of the hospitals I had seen the emergency room in my country, Iran. It was really an emergency part. One night I had a strong headache and I went there. It was about less than half an hour I was there and I encounter three patients who had car accidents and they were covered with the blood, one other patient had drunken a poisonous wine and was screaming so loudly, another one was about 30 year old man who had a heart attack and they transferred him to the CPR room and all his families members were crying. The emergency room of Eagle Ridge hospital was totally different from what I had in my mind of an emergency room in a hospital.
After about half an hour I feel cannot breathe easily. I look at the ceiling. It seems to me it is short and the air cannot go around the room. I don’t like to stay there anymore. While I feel I have problem in my breathing I remember about 10 months ago where my father was hospitalized and the hospital became the most horrible place in the world for me. He was six days there and those days were the worst days in whole my life; The days when every days at the morning I was not sure I can meet him alive again; the days of continuous crying, praying, screaming and even the days when I thought about the suicide for the first time in my life. It was the worst days and when I sit here and watch people with ordinary problems, I remind those days and my breath block…
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Evil, Women and the Feminine
Dear .....,
Thank you very much for your response to our Call for Papers and for submitting such an interesting proposal. On behalf of the Steering Group I am delighted to say that after a double blind peer review and other selection processes your paper has been accepted for presentation at the 1st Global Conference on Evil, Women and the Feminine to be held from Friday 1st May - Sunday 3rd May 2009 in Budapest, Hungary. Your paper will make a valuable contribution to the conference discussions.
It is the 4th paper of mine which accepted to be presented in an international conference. I have many plans for this year. All previous three papers were in international conferences as well.
This is the abstract:
Female Body in Islam; Devil, Evil, Veil
Thank you very much for your response to our Call for Papers and for submitting such an interesting proposal. On behalf of the Steering Group I am delighted to say that after a double blind peer review and other selection processes your paper has been accepted for presentation at the 1st Global Conference on Evil, Women and the Feminine to be held from Friday 1st May - Sunday 3rd May 2009 in Budapest, Hungary. Your paper will make a valuable contribution to the conference discussions.
It is the 4th paper of mine which accepted to be presented in an international conference. I have many plans for this year. All previous three papers were in international conferences as well.
This is the abstract:
Female Body in Islam; Devil, Evil, Veil
After Islamic Revolution in Iran in 1979 and establishing a so-called religious government and attempting to Islamization all aspects of Iranians lives, the privacy of women could not be remained secure and veiling from top to toe became compulsory for them in public spheres. Therefore, after more than 30 years of Islamic Revolution, that historical debate about the representation of female body in Islamic societies became more disputable in Iran in recent years. The core of this long argument is that female body is assumed just as a sensual object in Islamic texts.
Wearing colorful headscarves instead of dark colors, displaying hair beneath the scarves instead of covering completely, wearing short tight coats instead of loose long apparels are some of Iranian women employed initiatives in order to customize current interpretations of compulsory veiling.
Investigating female body politics in Iran during 30 recent years, this paper will focus on the religious texts (Qoran, the Muslim holy book; Sonath, the Prophet Mohammad and his children speeches and toziholmasa’el, Islamic contemporary clergies’ interpretation of Islamic principles) in order to decode the female body in Iran and reveal the connotations and denotations of religious defined signs in female body in this country.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Good Luck Darling
I found out that the department of philosophy in my university encourage applicants from different background! I advised my spouse to apply. His first interest is actually philosophy but it has always been so far from mind to apply for it. Incidentally, today I checked the department website and I found out he can apply. I hope it can be real. He love to focus on the philosophy of religion.
Although I have never let you know my weblog, good luck my darling!
Although I have never let you know my weblog, good luck my darling!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Talk
I won't lose my current satisfaction and serenity in my life. It is about four months we are living in 40m suite whole days and nights with each other, but nothing is finished. I always say to him if we are put in a cell, we can talk for 1000 years and we still have more common topics for continue!
Most people are wandering to the world to reach to this point. We are there! Nothing more!
I haven't made a certain personality for myself and it is not good. I mean that in social activities, although I have worked different places and carried various responsibilities, I don't' know what is my constructed occupational personality. Am I a journalist? Am I a teacher? Am I an editor? What really? I think I never invest profoundly on none of them and it has been my fault! Here, I confess that it has been my FAULT in my life. I never try all my best and always after a while get everything up and start a new career... It is not satisfactory and I am aware of this disaster.
I should start again. I should start to create a new personality for myself in this regard.
Whenever I start cooking, all my disgusting feelings disappear simply!
Most people are wandering to the world to reach to this point. We are there! Nothing more!
I haven't made a certain personality for myself and it is not good. I mean that in social activities, although I have worked different places and carried various responsibilities, I don't' know what is my constructed occupational personality. Am I a journalist? Am I a teacher? Am I an editor? What really? I think I never invest profoundly on none of them and it has been my fault! Here, I confess that it has been my FAULT in my life. I never try all my best and always after a while get everything up and start a new career... It is not satisfactory and I am aware of this disaster.
I should start again. I should start to create a new personality for myself in this regard.
Whenever I start cooking, all my disgusting feelings disappear simply!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
PhD
Yesterday was the first session of my Anthropology Methodology course. It was interesting. All was PhD students but me and another one. Most of them were in Sociology and Anthropology.
I don't know what happened that I decided to apply for PhD this year! Maybe I met PhD students and thought there is nothing special about them and I am really one of them! (hahahah)
I searched for PhD programs in my current university. Firstly, communication. I think it is good but there is a problem and it is that I would like to change my approach in communication and focus more on interpersonal communication not on mass media so much, but almost all the advisers were concentrated just on media not other branches of communication and also the deadline is Jan.15 that I think I cannot prepare my documents to be sent from Iran.
The other choice was Sociology which advisers research interests were close to what I would like to work and also the deadline is Feb.1. I asked from one of previous semester instructor for reference letter, she said she will do, but she doesn't know the details. If she knows why I need the reference letter I don't know what her reaction will be!
The other consideration is that my desire has been to go for my PhD in one of the most high-standard universities in the United States. My current university is not a bad university. It international ranking is 50-60 but the competition in getting an academic positions is not easy and I think more reputation of PhD university, more occupational opportunities I will get.
I haven't made my decision completely yet. Another point is that my spouse is applying many universities in Canada and if he get the admission in Ottawa for example, what I can do?! If I get the admission here making decision for leaving Vancouver won't be so easy! Doesn't it?!
I don't know what happened that I decided to apply for PhD this year! Maybe I met PhD students and thought there is nothing special about them and I am really one of them! (hahahah)
I searched for PhD programs in my current university. Firstly, communication. I think it is good but there is a problem and it is that I would like to change my approach in communication and focus more on interpersonal communication not on mass media so much, but almost all the advisers were concentrated just on media not other branches of communication and also the deadline is Jan.15 that I think I cannot prepare my documents to be sent from Iran.
The other choice was Sociology which advisers research interests were close to what I would like to work and also the deadline is Feb.1. I asked from one of previous semester instructor for reference letter, she said she will do, but she doesn't know the details. If she knows why I need the reference letter I don't know what her reaction will be!
The other consideration is that my desire has been to go for my PhD in one of the most high-standard universities in the United States. My current university is not a bad university. It international ranking is 50-60 but the competition in getting an academic positions is not easy and I think more reputation of PhD university, more occupational opportunities I will get.
I haven't made my decision completely yet. Another point is that my spouse is applying many universities in Canada and if he get the admission in Ottawa for example, what I can do?! If I get the admission here making decision for leaving Vancouver won't be so easy! Doesn't it?!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Social Network
It is amazing. Today I am reading about Social Network Analysis. In fact, I wanted to help my spouse to prepare a sample of academic writing for his one of the admission requirements in public policy. I started and I surprised on the capacity of this method of research for my further works.
He would like to work on the concept of power in virtual social networks.
I am interested in focus on women's social networks and I found out that how this theory and method is useful to my research interests. Indeed, I can work on it profoundly and became professional in this method.
My spouse believes that this is the social network era and it is wonderful if we can establish our career on researching over this topic generally. So, I can concentrate on women and gender part in social networks which I am interested in and he can follow the political dimensions based his attitudes.
It is really something interesting! When I start something seriously, always I would find the keys and this is amazing to me and make me to feel great pleasure.
My sister said somebody told that my father's disease is something extraordinary which nobody is able to do anything and he will be alive in this situation for many years... He added it is an horrible disaster for this family... But I cannot understand... What has my father done to be deserved to such an unfair punishment? What we, as a whole family, have done to be punished in this way? What about my miserable mother? Who did it? What? Is it something magical?!
I just know I cannot solve it to myself.
If there is one question in my life which I yearn to know the answer before my death, is this question: Why did it happen to my father and all of us? WHY?
He would like to work on the concept of power in virtual social networks.
I am interested in focus on women's social networks and I found out that how this theory and method is useful to my research interests. Indeed, I can work on it profoundly and became professional in this method.
My spouse believes that this is the social network era and it is wonderful if we can establish our career on researching over this topic generally. So, I can concentrate on women and gender part in social networks which I am interested in and he can follow the political dimensions based his attitudes.
It is really something interesting! When I start something seriously, always I would find the keys and this is amazing to me and make me to feel great pleasure.
My sister said somebody told that my father's disease is something extraordinary which nobody is able to do anything and he will be alive in this situation for many years... He added it is an horrible disaster for this family... But I cannot understand... What has my father done to be deserved to such an unfair punishment? What we, as a whole family, have done to be punished in this way? What about my miserable mother? Who did it? What? Is it something magical?!
I just know I cannot solve it to myself.
If there is one question in my life which I yearn to know the answer before my death, is this question: Why did it happen to my father and all of us? WHY?
Friday, January 2, 2009
Today
1. I sent an abstract for the first global conference of Evil, Women, Femininity.
2. I edited one of communication professor's abstract for his PhD thesis! When read his request, started laughing loudly! I ask help for editing my papers and he asks me for editing in English! But I did it and satisfied of the outcome.
3. The process of learning English is good. I am supposed to read a piece of article or writing every day and learn the new words and expressions.
4. I found Shirin, who I've corresponded her during 3 summers every week when I was in teen ages!
5. Forgot to say that my GPA here is 3.84 compared to Iran 3.89. Good for the first semester. Isn't it? My Iranian classmate who got B and B+ told me: "You should proud of yourself".
6. I was angry yesterday so much and I don't know why.
7. I dreamed a city in the name of "Shallow Town". I searched at the morning. It is a city in Florida!
8. I should write a story about a place where when people sleep nobody awakes them. The record was 7 years and 9 months for one of them!
9. I worry so much for my mother and father. Every day I think I should come back and think when I should pack my suitcase?
10. I hate to come back to Iran. How should I prove it to myself? Give it up to think everyday about packing your suitcase.
2. I edited one of communication professor's abstract for his PhD thesis! When read his request, started laughing loudly! I ask help for editing my papers and he asks me for editing in English! But I did it and satisfied of the outcome.
3. The process of learning English is good. I am supposed to read a piece of article or writing every day and learn the new words and expressions.
4. I found Shirin, who I've corresponded her during 3 summers every week when I was in teen ages!
5. Forgot to say that my GPA here is 3.84 compared to Iran 3.89. Good for the first semester. Isn't it? My Iranian classmate who got B and B+ told me: "You should proud of yourself".
6. I was angry yesterday so much and I don't know why.
7. I dreamed a city in the name of "Shallow Town". I searched at the morning. It is a city in Florida!
8. I should write a story about a place where when people sleep nobody awakes them. The record was 7 years and 9 months for one of them!
9. I worry so much for my mother and father. Every day I think I should come back and think when I should pack my suitcase?
10. I hate to come back to Iran. How should I prove it to myself? Give it up to think everyday about packing your suitcase.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)