Modification

I should tolerate my present situation and try to reform it according to my opinions. I am talking about my job and the unavoidable circumstances which eventuate in bothering me. I do not want to abandon my job as I have done before. I want to resist and modify the situation to the better style. I should do it. I promise myself. Although I am a very successful one in the life, I can not manage the hardships in my occupations. So, I would like to change the career so that I am proud of my occupational achievements as those on my personal and educational life.

...

I was sitting in the taxi. A man was sitting exactly next to me. His body hit mine. There was a calm nice trend which starts from my shoulder and wanted to flow to my soul. He was warm and lovely and I began to feel enjoyment…
Suddenly, I recede my body. What am I doing? I shouldn't let it to flow straightaway to my soul. I shouldn't let my body to enjoy from the smell of a strange man… It is the first step and I can make myself far away. I am committed to another man and I wonderfully believe in my commitment. Just a second prohibited pleasure can destroy everything because after the first step nothing will be under my supervision.
I moved my body back. The flow of enjoyment cut. My husband came in and caressed me warmly… I love myself more!

Remember

I should write to remember. I should write to register the events and feelings in the history's memory of my life.It is almost a month or two that I feel special ability inside. I feel I have got a power to sight, to smell something strange and in brief, something to faal that I was not able in the past. Thanks god! Maybe it is the consequence of holy month of Ramadan and fasting in it -avoiding to eat and drink as well as to behave in the wrong ways-Again, I think my lovely god is paying special and woderful attention to me and give me his gifts. He has always presented to me something noticeable, such remarkable that not only myself but others have been surprised and sometimes bewildered!Nowadays that it has been passed about 3 weeks of starting my new job, I want to confess I am delighted and I worship my nice god greatly :) He shows me to love and I proud of myself. He loves me as before when I was in my teen ages and had a specific relation to him.Thanks god, because of this year Ramadan and because of this year attention.